White people can’t dance. I’m not being racist; it’s true. Just like when white people say black people have big lips, it’s not racist; it’s true. Black people have big lips, white people can’t dance. Some brothers will be in the club and white people are like, “What are those niggers doing in here?” They watchin’ y’all dance. And they’re like, “Look at these crazy muthaf***as.” Y’all be stepping on people’s feet and hitting one another. Eddie Murphy
Your biggest fans and most honest critics. The only beings who could possibly love you more than you could ever love them. Not all parents are great, I agree, but they did choose to let you live and gave you life. Be grateful to your parents for their support, their encouragement, for their strength and undying love. Be grateful for the opportunity of life that they gave you.
Many of our funny quotes and sayings fit into more than one category. Under each quote, you will find the categories where that quote is listed. For example, our best funny quotes fit into categories that include friendship, intelligence, politics, age, relationships and much more. We hope our funny quotes will brighten even your darkest days and help you find the humor in any situation.
"Every friendship travels at sometime through the black valley of despair. This tests every aspect of your affection. You lose the attraction and the magic. Your sense of each other darkens and your presence is sore. If you can come through this time, it can purify with your love, and falsity and need will fall away. It will bring you onto new ground where affection can grow again." John O'Donohue
Every morning is a fresh beginning. Every day is the world made new. Today is a new day. Today is my world made new. I have lived all my life up to this moment, to come to this day. This moment – this day – is as good as any moment in all eternity. I shall make of this day – each moment of this day – a heaven on earth. This is my day of opportunity.Dan Custer
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